The Engaged Life

Hello out there!!

I was definately on cloud 9 now.  Even though I still had tumors...nothing could go wrong.  I was engaged a man who was everything I could have dreamed of.  Smart, funny, tall, easy going, inspiring, strong (he can lift me up which is always a plus), warm-hearted, and any other positive adjective you could think of.  The next couple weeks were the best ever because we got to tell everyone our news.  There is just something about spreading good news for once that makes everything ok.  It was a treat to be able to call Dan "Fiance". I know it is getting a little mushy so I will keep the rest to myself.

Winter break went by extremely fast.  I still had tumors in my lungs and we needed to figure out the next course of action.  We met with the doctors and considered all the possibilities. 

Surgery...this option will definately remove the tumors
Chemotherapy...this may help them shrink, and maybe get rid of anything we can't see; but will probably not get rid of the tumors for good
Radiation...I can not get large area radiation because it is a high risk for my lungs.  I have already had my lungs radiated and now that I have had a transplant, GVH in the lungs can be fatal

Once we weighed the good and bad we decided to go with surgery.  We would do a video assisted laproscopic like surgery to get the tumors out of my right lung, and we will perform another thoracotomy on my left lung.  The doctors had also decided that it may be in my best interest to remove part of my left upper lung.  There had been an area that showed up on my scans that would get bigger and smaller, they were worried there was something they couldn't see due to scar tissue.  So I would go back to school and get as much work done as possible, then I would leave to embark on my venture to be tumor free. 

I had already had one thoracotomy on my right lung and it went great.  I have a huge scar that runs along my shoulder blade and under my arm.  Now that I will have the same procedure on the other side, Dan says that we can tell people that my angel wings have been cut off.  Cute, right?  I think scars are sweet and they let people know that you are somewhat of a badass. 

People were nervous for me to have all this done in such a short period of time.  My right lung tumor removal would be in February, and thoracotomy and partial lung removal would be in March.  I knew that this was my time.  Everything that I had gotten...all the chemo, the radiation, the transplant, the surgery, the antibody...it was to bring me here.  To the point where everything can be removed surgically. I didn't want to get too excited or get my hopes up again; but sometimes, thinking that you are at the end of the road is what gets you through. Those thoughts somewhat cloud all the shitty stuff that you have gone through or are about to go through.