Hello out there!!
It has been cloudy in Frostburg for the past week. Now this is not breaking news....it is often (always) cloudy in Frostburg. As I drive over the mountains to complete my trip back from home to school.....I see the ominous cloud above the little town. However, when it is days at a time people start to change. Slower, quieter, the happiest person in the world would get a little depressed. I need the sun, it is amazing how much my mentality is driven by the weather. Are you the same way??
This past weekend was amazing. Baseball had their conference championship tournament that started on Friday so I stayed at Frostburg a little longer to watch the games. We lost the first game which was not a good indication of how we would do by the end of the weekend. Frostburg played the next game, but it was cancelled due to lightning. I left for home. Erik and Shirley came to visit on Saturday. I will post pictures when I get them. We didn't do much, we had an amazing lunch at the house and went for a walk outside to enjoy the most perfect spring day. It is always nice to see Shirley; she gets me like no one else. We talk all the time on the phone but it is not the same as seeing someone. I hung out with my sister and some friends Saturday night and then drove back to Frostburg Sunday for the championship game of the tournament. We ended up losing in the second game but it was a great run.
So after the amazing weekend weather Frostburg went back to being gloomy and cold. It is hard to get motivated to do anything. I don't have my TV in my apartment because we took it home last weekend, so I have been catching up on Desperate Housewives online. Very uneventful. I think tomorrow is supposed to be nice weather again!! Thank goodness. I might go home tomorrow for a week before my summer class starts. It is a little hard to leave, this is the last time I will be leaving college....crazy. I can't believe this day has come. I am dragging it out as long as possible.
Come back sun and make the end of this week amazing!!!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Real Life....ugh
Hello out there!!!
Well the time has come. End of the semester; though I do have 2 summer classes to take. I will have completed the classwork towards my Masters in Administration and Supervision for education. I still have to complete a practicum (internship), but I figured I would do this while I have a job. I can not delay real life any longer. (though some would argue that I am living in the real world and everything else is just a routine).
I am at a major crossroad in my life and it overwhelms me every time I think about it. In my mind...and now my mind and body are in the same place (tumor free and a new hip), I am ready to move on, get a job, start a family, live. However....this is not the situation I am fully comfortable throwing myself into yet. I can't excape the thoughts of the next low in the rollercoaster of my life. How can I move on when something so heavy is always on my shoulders?
I am not ready to commit to a full time job. I want nothing more than to teach kids every day, but that is not as easy as it sounds. What happens if I get scanned in October....after I have been on the job for a couple months...and I have to get treatment again? Then I have to explain to my boss that I have to miss school every month for a certain amount of days....how can this work? One option that I am comfortable with would be to get a job in Maryland and if I have to get treatment, I could get it after work. This seems like the most practical solution that could eleviate most of the "ifs". I do not want to let cancer live my life for me....but I feel I can only separate from it so much.
I guess this is normal. I have had cancer now for 6 years and have never known anyone who has made it past 6 years. I am still trying not to "wait my turn". Luckily, things are still amazing!!!!! I have been going out with friends and living the last few weeks of college free of worry (well somewhat) and pain. The weather has been great....besides the fact that Frostburg forgot it was May today and decided to sleet and rain.
My great friend Shirley is coming into town this weekend to be scanned. She is bringing Erik and the babies. I am sooooo excited. I will get to see her on Saturday after I move some stuff out of my apartment.
I hope everyone is having a great week so far and I will be posting soon.
P.S. I did send in an application for a teaching job in Howard County.....and I am comfortable accepting a full time job if they offer it too me. All I can do is apply and see how things go.
Well the time has come. End of the semester; though I do have 2 summer classes to take. I will have completed the classwork towards my Masters in Administration and Supervision for education. I still have to complete a practicum (internship), but I figured I would do this while I have a job. I can not delay real life any longer. (though some would argue that I am living in the real world and everything else is just a routine).
I am at a major crossroad in my life and it overwhelms me every time I think about it. In my mind...and now my mind and body are in the same place (tumor free and a new hip), I am ready to move on, get a job, start a family, live. However....this is not the situation I am fully comfortable throwing myself into yet. I can't excape the thoughts of the next low in the rollercoaster of my life. How can I move on when something so heavy is always on my shoulders?
I am not ready to commit to a full time job. I want nothing more than to teach kids every day, but that is not as easy as it sounds. What happens if I get scanned in October....after I have been on the job for a couple months...and I have to get treatment again? Then I have to explain to my boss that I have to miss school every month for a certain amount of days....how can this work? One option that I am comfortable with would be to get a job in Maryland and if I have to get treatment, I could get it after work. This seems like the most practical solution that could eleviate most of the "ifs". I do not want to let cancer live my life for me....but I feel I can only separate from it so much.
I guess this is normal. I have had cancer now for 6 years and have never known anyone who has made it past 6 years. I am still trying not to "wait my turn". Luckily, things are still amazing!!!!! I have been going out with friends and living the last few weeks of college free of worry (well somewhat) and pain. The weather has been great....besides the fact that Frostburg forgot it was May today and decided to sleet and rain.
My great friend Shirley is coming into town this weekend to be scanned. She is bringing Erik and the babies. I am sooooo excited. I will get to see her on Saturday after I move some stuff out of my apartment.
I hope everyone is having a great week so far and I will be posting soon.
P.S. I did send in an application for a teaching job in Howard County.....and I am comfortable accepting a full time job if they offer it too me. All I can do is apply and see how things go.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Amazing Anniversary Weekend!!
Hello out there!!!
This past weekend was mine and Dan's 6 year anniversary weekend. It had been an extremely long time since I had seen him (not since my hip replacement). This would be the first time he had seen me walk and how well I am doing. We had plans to go to see a concert in Atlantic City, then drive over to see some friends in NY that we would have seen at the wedding. A jam packed weekend!!
We ended up leaving around 12 on Friday for Atlantic City to see Paramore. The drive didn't take too long, about 3 1/2 hours. When we got to our hotel there was a little confusion about the reservation....but it eventually got settled. We didn't have much time until the show so we grabbed a quick bite in the Trump Taj Mahal before the show. The whole concert was general admission so we wanted to make sure we got a good seat.....turned out every seat at this venue was a great seat. We had bleacher seats and sat in the front row, behind general admission standing!!! The concert was amazing!!!! I would definately suggest getting out and seeing Paramore. It is funny because we didn't know who was opening for them and it ended up to be such a treat. Relient K opened up for them.....I had been listening to them all week on Pandora, it was a little 2 for 1 deal!!
We didn't gamble much in Atlantic City due to the fact that we are both a little broke. I did however triple my $5 in the penny slots and cashed out....always a winner. My winnings were spent on our late night soft pretzel after the concert. On our walk back to the hotel there was a dance party on the board walk that started with a wandering man dancing to the music who was then joined by a group of girls walking by. This no doubt, made his night!!!
Saturday was an early morning, we were going to meet our friends to take a 12:00 train into New York City. We made it just in time. It was pretty great weather on Saturday!! We walked around the city with a general idea of where we wanted to go. I love the city and have been there a good amount of times. Dan however, had never been to the city.
We walked to:
Bryant Park
Rockefellar Center
Radio City Music Hall
5th Avenue
We almost went to Times Square but we had hit our wall. This was also the same night they found the car bomb in Times Square. We were out of the city about an hour before they found the bomb.....but it is still a little crazy to think about.
We came back to our friends house and went out for great drinks, company, and food. It was really nice to see them again. I hadn't seen them in about 2 years. It is great to see how they and their lives have changed since their baby has come along!! Sunday was Rian's baptism. It was a beautiful service and I was extremely happy to be a part of it. We had a cookout yesterday afternoon and enjoyed the beautiful day.
But sadly.....the weekend always comes to an end. Our drive back from NY last night took about 6 hours and we were exhausted by the time we got home.....especially because I knew I had to get up early to take Dan to the airport for his 7:00 am flight. Luckily I am a morning person and this really isn't a big deal.....but between driving in the dark, the rain, and not having much sleep....it was a tiring trip. I came home and took a long nap before driving back to school.
School is almost over. I only have a couple more assignments to finish, I could not be more ready. Dan will fly back out for my scans in the end of May; which will also be the weekend we were supposed to be getting married...typical.
This past weekend was mine and Dan's 6 year anniversary weekend. It had been an extremely long time since I had seen him (not since my hip replacement). This would be the first time he had seen me walk and how well I am doing. We had plans to go to see a concert in Atlantic City, then drive over to see some friends in NY that we would have seen at the wedding. A jam packed weekend!!
We ended up leaving around 12 on Friday for Atlantic City to see Paramore. The drive didn't take too long, about 3 1/2 hours. When we got to our hotel there was a little confusion about the reservation....but it eventually got settled. We didn't have much time until the show so we grabbed a quick bite in the Trump Taj Mahal before the show. The whole concert was general admission so we wanted to make sure we got a good seat.....turned out every seat at this venue was a great seat. We had bleacher seats and sat in the front row, behind general admission standing!!! The concert was amazing!!!! I would definately suggest getting out and seeing Paramore. It is funny because we didn't know who was opening for them and it ended up to be such a treat. Relient K opened up for them.....I had been listening to them all week on Pandora, it was a little 2 for 1 deal!!
We didn't gamble much in Atlantic City due to the fact that we are both a little broke. I did however triple my $5 in the penny slots and cashed out....always a winner. My winnings were spent on our late night soft pretzel after the concert. On our walk back to the hotel there was a dance party on the board walk that started with a wandering man dancing to the music who was then joined by a group of girls walking by. This no doubt, made his night!!!
Saturday was an early morning, we were going to meet our friends to take a 12:00 train into New York City. We made it just in time. It was pretty great weather on Saturday!! We walked around the city with a general idea of where we wanted to go. I love the city and have been there a good amount of times. Dan however, had never been to the city.
We walked to:
Bryant Park
Rockefellar Center
Radio City Music Hall
5th Avenue
We almost went to Times Square but we had hit our wall. This was also the same night they found the car bomb in Times Square. We were out of the city about an hour before they found the bomb.....but it is still a little crazy to think about.
We came back to our friends house and went out for great drinks, company, and food. It was really nice to see them again. I hadn't seen them in about 2 years. It is great to see how they and their lives have changed since their baby has come along!! Sunday was Rian's baptism. It was a beautiful service and I was extremely happy to be a part of it. We had a cookout yesterday afternoon and enjoyed the beautiful day.
But sadly.....the weekend always comes to an end. Our drive back from NY last night took about 6 hours and we were exhausted by the time we got home.....especially because I knew I had to get up early to take Dan to the airport for his 7:00 am flight. Luckily I am a morning person and this really isn't a big deal.....but between driving in the dark, the rain, and not having much sleep....it was a tiring trip. I came home and took a long nap before driving back to school.
School is almost over. I only have a couple more assignments to finish, I could not be more ready. Dan will fly back out for my scans in the end of May; which will also be the weekend we were supposed to be getting married...typical.
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